Sunday, April 3, 2011

kenny rogers

So my mom's a big fan of Kenny Rogers but I'm NOT. The last time I complained about him my mom said, "You probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for Kenny Rogers."

Oh yeah? Kenny Rogers got you all jacked up on NyQuil and told dad to buy those expired condoms from the discount bin at the Chinese dollar store? I've read your diary, mom!

Sheesh!

food heaven

So is it considered rude to talk about other food while you're eating your current food? I don't think the pheasant you're eating right now would appreciate you going on about the chicken you had last Tuesday. Show some respect, people! And if your food is poorly prepared... avoid saying things like, "This is the worst veal I've ever tasted!" Somewhere a baby cow would probably be crying. (Again.)

And just for the record... I think this only goes for animals. Fish are even questionable but I'll include them just because I'm feeling generous right now. If you're a dead potato and you're reading this... I mean, come on. You're a potato. What did you expect?

You're welcome.