So I've decided I might start a new little segment, just to get me writing again. That said-- welcome to the first-ever edition of Loser of the Week!!!
I'm sure that by now, many of you have seen and/or heard of Susan Boyle, the middle-aged internet sensation made popular by singing a stupid song on some stupid teevee show. It's kind of neat the first time you watch it, but if you stop to think about it, it's not so inspiring at all. Here's why:
She seems to be a very talented singer, but it's somewhat surprising that she's waited so long to... you know... actually sing in public so that she could get noticed. In other words, why hasn't she been singing professionally (or at least semi-professionally) all along??!! I know it's not like you just sign up at the mall to be a star on Broadway, but if she can sing like that without any professional training, basically on a whim, then it's her own damn fault that she's emerging out of complete obscurity. When the folks at BGT interviewed her before her performance, she flat-out said that she didn't have a family or anything holding her back. What else could it be? Was she wrongly imprisoned for 20 years and is just now getting her big chance? These are the questions the world needs answered, so being a gererally inquisitive and resourceful person, I managed to get a phone interview with Susan to ask her why it took her so long to actually give a shit. Here it is:
ME: So, Susan-- you've become quite popular on the internet thanks to an inspiring performace on Britan's Got Talent. It seems to me that you could have had some relative success if you hadn't waited until you were 50 to show up to an audition. What was holding you back?
SB: (In her sweet British accent): Ooooh... I suppose it was laziness more than anythin' else. I'd considered takin' a day trip in to London a time or two and try out for a play or somethin'. Just never got 'round to it.
ME: This video of you on the show has really taken off on YouTube. Any thoughts on that?
SB: Funny you should mention that! It had dawned on me-- some time ago, actually-- to just take down a video of meself singin' the song in me kitchen or somethin'... and just post that on YouTube, you know? Just never quite 'round to it, I suppose.
ME: Do you have any other talents that you're waiting to share with us?
SB: (laughs) Ooooh... you know me. I sort o' like to dabble in a bit o' this and that from time to time. I was messin' about with me home chemistry set a few years back-- about fifteen years ago, actually-- and wouldn't ya know it?-- stumbled upon the cure for AIDS. Yeeaaah. Amazin' huh?
ME: (laughs) So when are you going to drop that bombshell on the world?
SB: Don't know. When I get around to it, I guess.
ME: You mean "if" you get around to it, right?
SB: Ha Ha. You kidder, you.
ME: Well, I'd just like to congradulate you once again on your success. And for being named A Babbling Brook of Bullshit's first-ever "Loser of the Week!"
SB: And thanks to you as well. I'll make it a point to check out your blog one o' these days.
ME: No, you won't.
SB: Haha. That's right! Keep forgettin' how bloody lazy I am!! Anyways-- Thanks for takin' the time to interview me.