That's right! All TWO of the people that voted in my poll unanimously decided that Stalin is funnier than Carrot Top. And unlike my previous poll, I did not vote in this one.
Here is a picture for posterity's sake:
You're welcome.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
the results are IN
... as in Stal-IN!!!
That's right! All TWO of the people that voted in my poll unanimously decided that Stalin is funnier than Carrot Top. And unlike my previous poll, I did not vote in this one.
Here is a picture for posterity's sake:
That's right! All TWO of the people that voted in my poll unanimously decided that Stalin is funnier than Carrot Top. And unlike my previous poll, I did not vote in this one.
Here is a picture for posterity's sake:
Friday, August 19, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
problem solved
Abortion is one of those touchy subjects. (Not that I've ever had one, but still.) Politicians are always going on about how it should or shouldn't be illegal. Well... I've come up with a solution that may put the issue to bed once and for all, and it's based on the axiom "you can't please all the people all the time." So here it goes:
Abortion is illegal 6 months of the year. It is completely unrestricted the other 6 months.
I know what you're all thinking: Is it 6 consecutive months? No. Abortion Season (where Abortions are allowed) runs from June-August and then again from November-January. This will reduce the number of birthdays around The Holidays. Plus, the Abortion Protesters are typically religious types and would more than likely be out of everyone's hair due to seasonal obligations.
As for the summer part... I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I was born in August and I'm still a little miffed that I couldn't celebrate my birthday in school. I'm not saying I wish I'd been aborted because I didn't get to celebrate my birthday with my friends; I'm just suggesting that it be a bigger branch on the decision tree.
OK. I'm done writing. NOW, it's time to call your congressperson!
You're welcome.
Abortion is illegal 6 months of the year. It is completely unrestricted the other 6 months.
I know what you're all thinking: Is it 6 consecutive months? No. Abortion Season (where Abortions are allowed) runs from June-August and then again from November-January. This will reduce the number of birthdays around The Holidays. Plus, the Abortion Protesters are typically religious types and would more than likely be out of everyone's hair due to seasonal obligations.
As for the summer part... I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I was born in August and I'm still a little miffed that I couldn't celebrate my birthday in school. I'm not saying I wish I'd been aborted because I didn't get to celebrate my birthday with my friends; I'm just suggesting that it be a bigger branch on the decision tree.
OK. I'm done writing. NOW, it's time to call your congressperson!
You're welcome.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
when you've got to go
If you get in a bind and need to use the restroom in public, try going to a pharmacy. Here is a script you can use:
You: Can I use your restroom? It's an emergency!
Pharmacy Employee: I'm sorry... it's not for customers.
You: Then what aisle do you keep the Depends?
Alternate script:
You: Can I use your restroom? It's an emergency!
Pharmacy Employee: It's right over there. I'm happy I could help!
You: Wait! Which is closer: the restroom or the Depends?
PE: I... I guess they're both about the same distance... but you--
You: It's too late!!!! (sobs)
You're welcome.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
food on FB
Sometimes someone will cook some food, take a picture of it and then post it on Facebook.
"That looks disgusting!" is usually what I want to say.**
Most companies will use plastic food when they want something to look appealing. Keep that in mind, people posting food on Facebook.
**Also, I want to say the same thing when someone puts up a picture of their kid.
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