Tuesday, January 13, 2009

all good things...

So I was driving around looking for a new bookshelf when I pulled in to a familiar parking lot only to learn some devastating news:

I think it's only fitting that as one stupid/unnecessary thing begins (this blog), so another one ends. That's right, National Wholesale Liquidators is going out of business. For those of you unfamiliar with said store, just imagine one of those Dollar General stores that sells cheap imported crap with poorly-translated product descriptions. Now imagine that same store sells clothes and furniture as well. Want to be a "Super Fire Protector" (fireman) for Halloween? That'll cost you $4.99 (and mild skin irritation). Just bought a new PC and need a place to put it? Go ahead and plop down $50 for a brand-new "komputer desk."

To answer your question: "Yes, I bought both of those items. And several other things to boot throughout the years." While NWL was certainly lacking in quality and customer service, it more than made up for it with charm. I'm genuinely sad to see it closing its doors. I plopped out my camera phone in an attempt to eulogize a dear friend.

The sign says, "the brands you want at prices you can afford." I think there may be something lost in translation there, because the sign should actually read, "brands you've never heard of at prices randomly determined by our 1979 price tag sticker machine."

They also tested the theory of supply & demand to its absolute limit. In that, I mean that they sold by things that have virtually no demand whatsoever at extremely low prices. Furthermore, buying in bulk allowed them to sell a whole bunch of shit nobody wants at an even unimaginably lower price. Case in point (a.k.a. "doing stupid shit like this is exactly why they're going out of business"):

That's approx. 500 copies of Oz, Season 2 on VHS for $0.99 each. There were four more shelves with more or less the same quantity of said video. Seriously-- are there that many people in the world that would buy Oz, Season 2 on VHS? Let alone in the DC metro area? And do they all shop at NWL? I don't think so. That said, there's certainly a "why not?" angle to the whole ordeal. "Hmmmm... if I skip the extra Junior Bacon Cheeseburger at Wendy's I can gain the ability to watch 5-8 prison rape scenes until the tape wears out. Sold!"

Anyhoos-- this was one of the more desirable things left to purchase during their big liquidation sale. If you're looking for a green mop handle or some size 82 Bugle Boy jeans, there may be time yet.

OK. I'm tired of writing.

You're welcome.

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